lifers
by rantywoman
In my thirties, I had friends who refused to jump on the online dating bandwagon and who, although they had been through several relationships in their twenties, seemed to settle into a long-term single state around that time.
I, on the other hand, did a lot of dating from online (and through real-life encounters when I could), so I didn’t envision myself as a long-termer. I had several short-term relationships as well during that decade, but none of them ever landed on the holidays.
Now here I am, facing my twelfth holiday season alone, and accepting that I have become one of the long-termers, and possibly a lifer. I’ve used this year to adjust to this reality and am still sitting uneasily with it. Related post:
http://www.simonegrant.com/blog/2011/05/16/long-term-single/#comments
thebitterbabe 
Do you mean alone as in you don’t visit any family or friends during the holidays and are literally by yourself or alone as in not coupled? I notice that over the holidays so many are with their extended families (whether or not they themselves have kids or are in a relationship) that those who don’t have family nearby or can’t travel to see family can definitely feel out of the norm. Some people will have gatherings with other friends who also won’t be with family during that time, but I think sometimes there just aren’t people like that around in every person’s group of friends.
You seem like a great person and I hope your match is out there somewhere.
(Now that I’ve commented on here a lot I need a username other than “anon” but I can’t think of one!)
“Anon” I was a little worried that you might be someone who knows me and is pretending you don’t… but I’m paranoid. I should have qualified “alone”– usually my mom flies out and spends Christmas here, and often I’ll have Thanksgiving with Friends, so I’m not actually alone on those days. I guess I meant, it’s been twelve years since I’ve planned my holidays with or around a significant other.
Oh absolutely not. I just stumbled on to your blog a while back and really like it. So don’t worry!
Good point anon. I have been alone for the last 5 Thanksgivings which is a very different experience from being with family or friends. That being said … I did have a few invitations for some of those Thanksgivings. To me, though, being home and creating an environment that feels nurturing is far preferable to ‘filling the space’ with people with whom I can’t connect emotionally. As long as I had invitations to be elsewhere, being home alone was manageable : )
I get your paranoia rantywoman! I wish they’d get rid of that Facebook button – I’m petrified I’m going to hit that one day instead of ‘Post Comment’! You have to wonder how secure these things are! I guess the need to connect with others who understand is greater than the fear …
I have that same Facebook button fear…
I wonder about this, too. If my relationship doesn’t work out I could be alone for the holidays. I wonder how I would deal with it. Congrads for dealing with it so well.
[…] fantastic US blog that pulls no punches as the author is anonymous), she writes of looking at her “12th holiday season alone.” Unlike the author of The Bitter Babe (tag line: Never Married. Over Forty. Slightly Bitter) I was […]